A Mother's Rule of Life

A Mother's Rule of Life: 
How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul

A presentation based on the book, by Holly Pierlot

 

By Kristen M. Soley

Why a Mother’s Rule of Life?
A Mother’s Rule- as adopted from the vocation of consecrated life, is a set of rules or guidelines by which a group of consecrated (monks, sisters, etc.) agree to live.

“The practical rule is a tool to get you to the heart of your mothering vocation – union with God and your husband and family, in love.”

Like many of us, the reality that incented Holly to get organized was, as she explains…  she was sitting in her living room, “The kids were all around me, each clamoring for my attention:  ‘Mummy, you told me you’d read this story!’ ‘Mummy, can we go visit someone instead?’”  She explains on top of that her house was in disorder “socks, shoes, blankets, toys, books, papers, pillows, and cat fluff graced the living room floor; food, etc.”

She concluded “I might not like schedules… but I certainly can’t stand this either…  Schedules might be limiting… but disorder is more limiting.”

After adding a bit of order and schedule to her day, she realized, “It worked!”  It occurred to her that Jesus was “perfectly willing to bless [her] efforts, but [she] needed efforts to bless.  We have to give Him all of ourselves, to our task and mission, “not haphazardly, but fully, methodically, completely.”  Jesus asks us for dedication of our entire self to our vocation.

Dedication goes beyond our housework and could not be limited to home management.  We need to live out our vocation as Christian, woman, wife, mother, member of Church, and member of society.
Therefore, our rule of life goes far beyond a housekeeping schedule.  It should be a “complete and proper ordering of every aspect of … life.”

What is a rule?
Just like a woman who has been called to become a nun, “in addition to taking vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, she agrees to follow the Rule of the Community.”  This includes chores, meals, recreation, house rules, and dress.  These are all required in order for daily life to run smoothly in the community.    Everybody knows their place, duty, and what is expected of them. 

A rule brings order:  “a happy disposition of things… a multitude reduced in some wise to unity.” 
Thus your rule is “an organization of everything that has to do with your vocation, based on a hierarchy of the priorities that define the vocation and done with the intent to please God.”
“It deals with the essential responsibilities of your state in life, organized to ensure their fulfillment.

Your rule is in essence a schedule, based on our mission.  So what is our mission?

Proverbs 31
Proverbs 31: 10 - 31 helps us to understand how to be the wife and mother that God calls us to be, our mission if you will.

So who is a Proverbs 31 Woman then really?

• She is an excellent wife who is worth more than jewels.
• Her husband trusts her; she does him good all his life.
• She works with her hands, sewing, cooking, etc.
• She wakes early and goes to bed late to keep things in order
• She contributes where she can, is resourceful, prudent and thrifty
• She is generous to the needy and sees her children are dressed appropriately, and presentably
• She dresses herself and her children so her husband can be pleased
• She is hopeful for the future and speaks wisely and teaches kindness
• She is a good manager of her home and idleness is not acceptable
• Because she obeys her duty, her children will bless her
• Her husband believes he has a wife that excels above all others
• Most importantly, she fears the Lord.

Ready for a rule?
Now that we understand our mission, we need to fully grasp the gravity of our role in God’s plan for our salvation; our vocation.

We will need our priorities in order, if we hope to glorify God in our vocation.  We need to take time to evaluate the many activities in our daily schedule.  “When we do, we will soon see there is a hierarchy of importance, and our life can take on a new sense of order.”1  

The Five P’s:
Holly identifies the five priorities of the married vocation (the Five P’s) 
The Five P’s:
1.  First P = Prayer
2.  Second P = Person
3.  Third P = Partner
4.  Fourth P = Parent
5.  Fifth P = Provider

She explains “every woman called to be a wife and mother has certain obligations that can’t be ignored nor neglected.  They are not optional… regardless of other obligations…  Whether or not we knew what we were signing up for when we said ‘I do’, these obligations are ours by virtue of our vocation.” 

Our priorities “must be ranked according to importance.  Many marriages can get “out of order” when a lesser P is given priority over a higher P.”

First P – Prayer
God calls us to get our personal life in order by establishing, as top priority, the care of our soul and body.  The use of Time is to reflect the importance of these activities.  Therefore, God comes first. 
In lieu of never finding enough time for God in the midst of everything else, we have to work everything else around God.  When we put God first, by being available to Him and meeting Him through prayer, we build a strong foundation upon which our home, or Domestic Church. 
We are assured in 1 Corinthians 3:11 -

“For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”
 

God created us to know, love, and serve Him, and be happy with Him in Heaven.  He has called us to holiness; to be saints.  Rightly so, then, we need to spend time in conversation with Him, allowing Him to lovingly guide us on our steep climb up the mountain of holiness.  This conversation with Him is also knows as prayer. 

As Holly points out, God “reveals himself to us gradually.”  He is a gentleman, and gives us what we need, when we need it.  He does this when we can handle it, or when He is able to give us the strength to endure it, as the case may be.

We are not helpless in this journey to holiness; the spirit of the first P is to look at where we have been, and “learn what we ought to do to make ourselves more available to his direct and personal intervention in our lives.”

As my spiritual director pointed out, we do not need to seek God out, we do not need to go looking for Him.  “He is relentlessly pursuing us.  He is a jealous God, who wants not just parts of our lives, but all of us.”  This means, then, that we need to make ourselves available to Him, always being open to His wisdom and inspiration, recollected, if you will.  This is also a form of prayer.  By following our rule, we remove the noise that would otherwise block out His inspiration, thus enabling this form of openness to Him.

Holly includes in this P, following God’s laws, His Commandments.  “The laws that God imposes on us from the outside are meant to discipline us, to help our hearts grow into the laws of love which motivate us from within…  Law precedes love.”

Early in my faith journey, some of the laws God gave to obey seemed restrictive, but out of obedience I followed them.  In my obedience, over time, I fell madly in love with Him.  He helped me to realize that the laws He gives are not to hold us back, or restrict our enjoyment of this life.  Rather, they free us to love Him fully and live without worry; to live at peace.  Obedience to His laws enables us to live in peace and experience true joy. As F.B. Meyer says “Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy at rest.”  To experience true joy, we must be at peace, and we cannot truly find peace without the obedience to the love and protection that God provided, to keep us safe.  Again, when we obey with trust, we remove more noise from our day. 

For your rule, Holly recommends to keep it simple and not do “too much too soon” as you might get discouraged and be tempted to give up.  Things to consider in your rule are personal prayer time, family prayer time, sacraments, spiritual direction, Eucharistic Adoration, and possibly a Mother’s Sabbath. 

Questions to ask yourself in order to help in creating your rule:
• What types of prayer practices are reasonable for any Christian on a daily basis?
• What limitations or special circumstances do I or my family have? i.e., personality tendencies, are you a morning person or evening?
• How can I find some private time throughout the day?  Can my husband or older children help out?
• What are my natural lulls in the day where I can arrange to have the children occupied in a safe and healthful way so I can pray?
• Decide upon time slots for prayer, no matter how short, to set aside for prayer.
• Which prayer practices do I want to schedule?
• Where can I pray without distraction?  Create a prayer spot with easy access to a rosary, bible, etc.
• How often is it reasonable to get to confession?  When can I do this?
• How often can I attend Mass?
• What about Children’s prayer time, family prayer time?
• What about spiritual direction?

Remember your life has seasons, you may not be able to attend Mass daily, hold a regular Holy Hour, nor be able to attend Stations as often as you’d like.  St. Frances of Rome assures us:

“A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.”

Once you have established these, start right away; as Holly says, “Now, beginning immediately with your next scheduled prayer sessions, drop everything else and start praying!”

Remember the first P is intended to bring you closer to God.  As Holly puts it “whenever you have a spare moment, lift your heart in a little prayer to Him, asking for His blessing to help with the coming hour.  This will super-naturalize your entire day and eventually, when it becomes a habit, it will sanctify your entire life.  And not only that, God will come.”

Second P - Person
We need to care for ourselves, basic physical needs (sleep, exercise, food, vitamins, etc.)    Yes we are called to obey, to humble ourselves, but in order to do this effectively; we will need the graces we receive from time spent with God, a good night’s sleep, and good health.

Holly assures us that God “wants us to be holy, happy, and healthy, and in order to be so, we need to know ourselves – our good points and our bad points, our talents and strengths, our weaknesses and failings. When we truly know ourselves… we can become what God intends us to be.”

In order to fulfill our vocation, we need to take care of ourselves.  In my own experience, I had myself as the last P, not the second.  Consider this, how could we possibly care for and nurture our families, if we are not caring for ourselves first.  We need to be healthy, both spiritually as well as physically. 

The major components to our “self” to consider in a rule are spiritual, psychological and emotional.  Caring for our spiritual health includes following God’s laws and moral norms, the Eucharist which is our spiritual food, regular confession to heal damage we inflict in our lives through sin as well as the grace we receive from this beautiful sacrament, and we also need to study our faith which will help to form our conscience.

Questions to ask yourself in order to help in creating your rule:
1. How much do I sleep every night?  Is it enough?  Can I add, subtract?
2. What are basic hygiene and grooming tasks I must do daily, how often?  Can I do them before or after meals? (repeat this process for the children)
3. How can I get my body moving and in shape?  What forms of exercise would I like to do more?  How, when, where, can I do this?  Can the children do any of this with me?
4. How often do I think is reasonable for me to get out with friends?  Do I prefer socialization to be regular or spontaneous?
5. What hobbies or other forms of recreation do I need to engage in each day to help balance y cay and help relieve stress?
6. When would there be a natural time for me to do these things?  When the kids are in bed? During their nap time?  After supper?
Holly recommends starting a journal to record personal areas you might want to work on.  Maybe spend a half hour daily or even weekly to review spiritual, mental, and emotional health.  You could also incorporate any prayer and meditation thoughts (lectio divina, etc) in this journal.

Third P - Partner
Our husbands come next.  A solid, loving marriage is the bedrock of family life, and so the next allotment of our time should be directed at our partners, our husbands.  We need to be available to them first and foremost, before all other activities.

Marriage is a sacrament, and as a wife, “we have a job to do.” Love is something we are supposed to concern ourselves with, giving not receiving; “giving to my husband the gift of myself.”  Love is a decision, not a feeling.  “It is an act of the will, a giving of ourselves to the other for the other’s good.”

As Fulton Sheen says Christian marriages fail only when spouses fail to be Christian.  We are to treat our husbands with dignity, love, and respect.  We should treat them how we would like to be treated.  It helps to remember that we are all doing the best that we can, with the tools and history God gave us.  It helps to give our spouse the benefit of the doubt, and try to see things from his perspective before assuming anything.  It also helps to pray before speaking, especially in times of disagreement.

Questions to ask yourself in order to help in creating your rule:
1. When can I open up a regular chunk of time just to be available to my husband?  What type of things can I arrange?  Intimacy?  What are his expectations vs. yours?
2. Does my husband need any help from me aside from housework?  Are there any little things he appreciates, ways I could help make his life a little easier? 
3. How can I plan meals that he enjoys?  Meal planning is a great asset in home management.

It would be helpful to know your husband’s love language when creating your rule.  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Fourth P - Parent
“Parenting is a call to form persons.”  We need to love our children in a conscious, consistent way. Try to be more available to them throughout the day.  Not just physically, but mentally available to them; laugh, talk and simply be with them.

Questions to ask yourself in order to help in creating your rule:
1. What exactly do your children need to do? For daily hygiene? To deal with their clothing?  Their personal prayer?  Sports and hobbies? Friends?  Catechism and Mass and Confession? Homework or schooling?  Sleep, rest, exercise?
2. What supplies / materials do your children need to do these things?
3. When can our children perform their duties and activities?
4. When can I help my children?

Fifth P - Provider
This constitutes a paycheck for some of us as well as caring for, maintaining, and repairing (as much as possible) our home and our resources, and, if time permits, earning extra income on a causal basis to help out financially (if we do not already work outside the home).

Questions to ask yourself in order to help in creating your rule:
1. How much income do we have coming in on a regular basis?
2. How much are we required to tithe in order to ensure we meet this obligation and experience God’s blessings?
3. What are our basic and necessary monthly expenses?
4. How much money do we owe, aside from car and home payments?  What are payment schedules?
5. What other expenses do we typically incur?
6. What, if anything, can we allot to savings, no matter how small?

When your 5P’s are in order, God always makes things work, the way He intends it.  When they are disordered, however, you will find likely find yourself unsettled, anxious, short tempered and feeling like a failure. 

Wisdom in creating your rule
Holly explains that “a rule of life must be lived as a response to the call of God.”  As a wife and mother, we are called to know, love, and serve Him and to be happy with Him in Heaven; just as He designed it.  Therefore, our obedience to Him, through our vocation is our path to holiness.  Our rule can be a means to our sanctification. 
As Jesus told St. Faustina:

“Yes.. when you are obedient I take away your weakness and replace it with My strength. I am very surprised that souls do not want to make that exchange with Me.” I said to the Lord, “Jesus, enlighten my heart, or else I, too, will not understand much from these words.” (381) 2
  

“My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications.” (894) 2
 

Holly explains that a rule can be very sanctifying.  If we do our duty, before what we’d prefer, “it becomes a great means of mortification…  Just as a nun vows obedience to her superiors [you will practice] obedience to demands of [your] vocation as reflected in [your] daily duties.”

I read once that a woman looks at each item on her rule as a gift for Jesus. "I am going to iron for you now, my Lord; I will prepare supper for you now, my Lord, I will wipe the poop off the carpet and wash the sheets, my Lord, etc!” 

Holly, before beginning each task in her rule simply says a little prayer and asks God to bless this next allotment of time. This mindset might help you to remain obedient to your own rule.

The spirit of you rule
The spirit of your rule is its “underlying philosophy and goals.”  It will summarize the main points of how you want to live out your vocation, based on the five p’s, as well as the specific virtues you believe most important in your vocation.

The spirit of your rule will include the aim and purpose of your vocation, and the heart of your mother’s rule.  It is your own personal mission statement if you will.  Holly’s looks like this:
“In seeking Christian perfection within the married vocation, as I repeat with the Blessed Mother:
‘Behold the handmaid of the Lord.  Be it done unto me according to thy word.’”

You could also define how you will fulfill the Will of God in your rule, specifically, reevaluating your five p’s, ensuring duties are accounted for, and the reduction of excessive and outside involvements or ministries.

The spirit of your rule will also take into consideration love of God and neighbor.  Love of God might focus on:
• The reasonableness of your rule related to God’s will for you
• Offering up each task for love of Him more frequently
• Performing each task with great care and tenderness as an act of love, for the Love of God
• Openness and receptiveness to the Holy Spirit

Love of neighbor might focus on:
• Being externally and internally available to family
• Attentive to the person I am with
• Accept and encourage each person, looking for the good in all
• Seek to do what is best for others and bring out their best
• Seek to be firm, but gentle, cheerful, kind, and just

Other considerations to the Spirit of your rule might include:
• Bring about and maintain order with time, possessions, and desires
• Focus on simplicity of possessions, activities, and virtue
• Practice moderation in all things
• Attention to detail in all that I do
• Flexibility with schedule

The spirit of your rule related to the five P’s might include:
• Committed time with God every day, throughout the day
• Examine my life and person and seek to bring about personal health, in mind and body
• Actively love my husband
• Actively love my children
• Be a good steward of the possessions and resources of God’s providence

Getting started
Sit down and ask God to bless this effort.  Determine the spirit of your rule.  Then evaluate your own “P’s”, begin to look at your day and the natural rhythm; prayers, meals, snacks, naps, errands, household chores, and other duties related to your vocation. 

Then jot down the things you’d like to get done, that never seem to get done, i.e., cleaning ceiling fan blades, clean out fridge, filing, organizing clothes / closets, modifying your rule, exercise, date nights, designating time to be available to your spouse.  Do you want to do more spiritual reading?

Allow room for emergencies, where your family might need to go into maintenance mode, remembering that your family’s personal needs come before the rule.  In those circumstances, ensure the essentials are addressed (prayer, meals, laundry, tidy-up, and critical schoolwork if children are not sick).  “The schedule is made for the family, not the family for the schedule.”

The key for Holly is to remain flexible but not “so flexible that [you] can reason yourself right out of your schedule again.”

The fruit of a rule is that your mind will be freed from the many cares and concerns, because you know what you should be doing, and when.  Everything has a time.  You will know exactly when every task in your home is going to be done and not worry about them until it is time to do it.

I would spin, I call it, when I had pockets of time… ‘what should I do with this fifteen minutes?’… by the time I figured out what was most important, the time was up.  Now I simply look at my rule and see what I should be doing. 

One tip for cleaning with children, taking advice from Holly she designated fifteen minutes for chore time.  Your children will know there is a limit “to the nasty stuff Mummy is going to assign.” 

In our home we would begin by offering up our cleaning time for a soul, each child calls out the soul they are cleaning for and then we would set the timer for twenty minutes.  We had to try to get all of our individual chores done before the timer would beep. 

For helpful a printable workbook filled with worksheets and information on pulling together your rule, please visit Holly’s website - http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/.

The book, A Mother’s Rule of Life can be purchased from these websites:
• From Amazon.com by clicking this link - A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul
• http://shop.sophiainstitute.com/Search.aspx?k=a+mother%27s+rule+of+life&submit=Search
• http://www.catholiccompany.com/mothers-rule-life-p1004316/?

Be sure to ask your husband’s blessing, if there are changes that will impact him in time away from home, or a request for personal time (holy hour, mother’s retreat, daily Mass, etc.)  Also, if you have a spiritual director, ask him to review and bless it.  This will help you to remain obedient to it.

Sources:
1.  A Mothers’ Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot 2004 – Sophia Institute Press
2. Diary of St. Faustina

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

Joseph, Husband of Mary

Today is the Feast of St Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Mother. 

During breakfast this morning, I was reading the morning devotion to my children from the Magnificat.  My children were all silent, then one said… “ I think she is crying.”  I was... 

Heather King, author, speaker, and blogger,  wrote the piece that touched me so dearly.  She gave me permission to post it; to share this wisdom.  Thank you Heather!  Here goes.

 

MARCH 2013: JOSEPH, HUSBAND OF MARY, Tuesday, March 1

By: Heather King

 

"As a child, when my father was worried, I was worried. There were eight of us kids and, like him, I took every family crisis and wasted penny personally.

One night at supper, as happened often, we ran out of milk. "I'll get some more," little  Ross offered, and made for the kitchen. Right away, Dad started in. “Don’t drop the milk.” “For Crimey’s sake, don’t drop the milk” “Watch out Ross, whatever you do, don’t drop the milk.”

Almost inevitably, just as Ross was about to reach the table, he dropped the milk. Milk pooled on the floor. Milk runneled into the kitchen. A stricken, defeated look crossed my father’s face. And then, trembling, he bent over and silently buried his head in his hands.

Had we made Dad cry? Had we pushed him over the brink at last? Mom couldn't leave. But what if Daddy, fount of all fun, all jokes, all food, shelter, clothing, security, order, warmth, bolted?
Finally my father straightened up. His beat-up hands dropped to his knees. He was still trembling. His face was wet with tears. But finally we realized he wasn’t crying. He was laughing.

Daddy had laughed. For a moment, all was right with the world. But in a way, I am still sitting at that table with my father. Sitting with him on one side and my mother on the other, sensing while being too young to know the tension that resides at the center of even the best of marriages. Sitting with him knowing that when and if he lifted his head his family, his glory and his cross, was going to be looking back at him: waiting, bereft. Sitting with him as he perhaps contemplated the years stretching ahead: of waking in the dark; of standing in the bitter cold and scorching heat all day laying brick, of constant anxiety, constant frustration, constant fatigue. Sitting with him while, on some terrible battlefield in which our fates hung in the balance, all that was good and kind and decent in him, and all that was fearful and weak and in pain had perhaps met.

That silence is the silence of St. Joseph who, in the Gospels, never utters a single word. St. Joseph the husband of Mary who chose his family, again and again, over himself.  Who chose humor—for what good husband and father doesn’t have a sense of humor?—over despair, over death. Who today resists the advances of the attractive young girl at work though sorely tempted, who lets his wife take credit for the kids, who stays instead of bolting which is hard and has always been hard and always will be hard. We say Mary is humble but perhaps the only person more humble, more burdened, less thanked, was Joseph.

In a way, that is who I write for: St. Joseph, and all husbands like him. For my father, in that moment before he lifted his head—and stayed."

To find Heather King online, click here.

My husband is my best friend, a gift from God and I thank God for him daily. He works so hard for all of us.  

I wanted to share this, so that we might all take a moment to thank God, for our husbands. Also, to remind us to hold him up in prayer.

St Joseph, pray for us!

Home Schooling How and Why

Home Schooling - How and Why

 

If God has called you to home schooling, or if you're just starting to consider home schooling, this retreat will be helpful. It will give you the knowledge needed to make good choices regarding your children's education. It will provide practical guide-lines for successfully teaching your children at home -providing information on available curricula, support groups, and legal defense organizations, and resources for home educators. It will also provide a forum for Q & A with home schooling Mothers. (For a printable copy of this retreat & legal info for MN click here)

 

Why – The Goals of Catholic Home Schooling: 

 

“Catholic home education enables families to balance the development of our children in each of the… basic areas of education so that they mature as well-rounded young adults.” 4

• Learning the Faith  Knowing and Loving God

     o Sacred Scripture

     o Sacred Tradition 4

• Living the Faith

     o Family Mission

     o Individual Character Formation 4

• Applying the Faith

     o Training in Academics

     o Life Skills 4

 

It is true, not everybody is called to home school their children. 

How do you know if you are being called to home school your child?  Are you capable of educating your child?  Who is truly the best teacher for your child? 

No two stories are exactly the same, but most often, families choose to home school for a core set of reasons:

• Superior Education - Parents believe they will be able to provide a superior education at home

• Religious reasons – God is always welcome at home, in everything

• Safety – this goes without saying

• Control – the ability to control when things are introduced, in what context, and by whom.  The ability to correct behavior, when the behavior occurs, within the framework of the family standards.

• Strong families - A desire to keep children together, allowing them to grow-up together as friends under the influence of parents who care most about forming their own children into virtuous young men and women of character.

For us, it all came down to who was going to form our children.  Our oldest, had just finished his first year of preschool at a local Catholic preschool. I learned, at the parent meeting at the end of his first year, there had been some behavior concerns that had been consistent throughout the year and I was just learning about at this meeting. Nathan and I talked about it and agreed that, in order to fulfill our responsibility as parents, we need to be able to correct behavior, when the behavior occurs. After prayerful consideration, God lead us to home schooling and He has blessed our efforts ever since.  Until this time, I had looked forward to having my children in school, and being the happy Mom with cookies, meeting them with a smile as they got off the bus.

We have since learned of the other benefits that home schooling affords:

• We have the ability to pray with our children and bring God into each lesson, into everything
• As a family, we have all grown closer to God
• I have learned to trust Him.  I cannot do it without Him.  He has taught me patience, lifted me up when I fall, and given me the strength to persevere in trials 
• Flexibility – each child learns differently and we can customize his/her school based on best tools for his/her style and needs
• The ability to teach our children together
• Self discipline – my 4th and 5th grader both get out of bed and start math between 6:00 and 6:30 AM.   They are oftentimes done with their “schoolwork” before 10:00 AM; though they learn all day long (I read to them during lunch and then read about our faith, or saint at snack and bible at 3:00 PM).
• Field trips
• Allowing the world to be our classroom
• Embracing teachable moments – they learn many things before they would have been taught in school, because of their curiosities
• The ability to select the families we spend time with, thus our children spend time, for the most part, with other families who have the same values and goals for their children
• The ability to learn all of the things I missed in my own education – this is so inspiring for the children.  When we get excited about something, they get excited about it as well (TJED calls this the “inspire” facet to home education)
• The miracle of watching our child’s a-ha moments, when they learn to read, when place value starts to make sense, or even odd/even.  It is like watching a miracle.
• We are able to adapt when there is an emergency or major family change.  New babies, Chiropractor appointments brought our Science, Literature, and Faith Formation on the road (DVD’s and Audio Books).
• We are able to ensure the children don’t feel less-than, because each child learns at his/her own pace and invariably catches up in their own time. They are not labeled as “special-ed”, nor accelerated learning.  They are simply doing their best and we are proud of their efforts.

Misconceptions of Home Schooling 2 –

1. Homeschoolers are stuck in their house all day.

• Homeschooling families I know are rarely at home! 
• Participate in many activities, coordinate classes and field trips, and join clubs.
• Midweek is the best time to visit museums, parks, beaches, ski slopes, and other places, because there are no crowds and the prices are lower.
• Little Flowers (2x/mo), Book Club (1x / mo), Boy Scouts (2x /mo), Field Trips, Youth Groups, Schoenstatt boys faith formation (1x / mo), 1X home school group activity / mo (rock climbing, plays, museums, bowling, etc)

2. Homeschoolers don't have friends.2

• Not only do homeschooled kids have friends, but they have the opportunity to develop and grow strong friendships when they spend entire days together.
• The longer you home school, the wider the circle of friends becomes. I had friends in my home town when I was in school.  My children have friends in 3 different counties!
• As kids (and parents) see the same faces each week at regularly scheduled activities friendships form.

3. Kids cannot be socialized if they don't go to school.2

• It's true: homeschoolers don't experience those negative aspects of socialization (bullying, etc). Rather, they are in their communities, interacting with merchants, the elderly, younger children, their peers, their relatives, and people from all walks of life.
• Professional studies demonstrate that the home-educated have significantly lower problem-behavior scores than do their conventional school-age mates.
• Homeschoolers are used to being around kids and adults of different ages and abilities.
• Rebellious behavior is rare in homeschooled teens - especially those who have never been to traditional school.
• Kids who have been following their passions and pursuing their goals have no need to rebel.

4. Average parents are not qualified to teach their children.2

• Homeschooled children consistently outperform their schooled peers on standardized tests in every subject and at every grade level, nationwide.
• Homeschooled children generally perform at least one grade level higher on tests than their public and private school counterparts. My Andrew is reading at a 9th grade level, he is a 5th grader.  All of my children, bar one are ahead by at least a year on many subjects.
• What's more, children who have always been homeschooled generally are performing four years above the national average, by the time they reach eighth grade.
• Dr. Lawrence M. Rudner undertook a nationwide survey examining homeschooling families and test scores. Rudner concluded that "There was no difference found [in test scores] according to whether or not a parent was certified to teach.
• For those who would argue that only certified teachers should be allowed to teach their children at home, these findings suggest that such a requirement would not meaningfully affect student achievement."

5. Homeschooled teens miss out on "the high-school experience."2

• At a recent home school conference, this issue was brought up to a panel of homeschooled teens. When asked if she felt she was "missing out" on high-school activities, one teen eloquently replied that she believed traditionally schooled teens are the ones missing out — on their teen years.
• Home schooled children’s activities each day are self-directed — able to explore a subject or pursue a passion for weeks or even months, simply because he/she wants to.  Often they are grateful for not having days filled with mindless busywork and useless memorization.
• John Taylor Gatto, former NYC Teacher of the Year and author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling (New Society Publishers, 2002), explains that a motivated teen can easily complete a traditional four-year high-school curriculum in under two years.
• Gatto documents that less than one hour of each school day is spent on actual learning. The rest of the time is spent disciplining students, giving directions, cleaning up, collecting and distributing papers, changing classes, making announcements, and getting to and from school.
• Homeschoolers are able to bypass all of these time wasters. The teens in the panel, aged 14 to 17, were already accumulating college-level credits through either a community college or a distance-learning school. When they are ready to enroll in college full-time, they will enter as sophomores or juniors. 2

How - If you feel called to Home School what next?:

• Pray
• Talk with spouse and get support and talk about philosophy and reasons to home school
• Check State Home School requirements: See HSLDA Requirements Handout for reporting, etc. - http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Minnesota.pdf
• Research what type of curriculum works best for your family
• Find a home school group, talk with other home schooling families
• Get organized, plan it out – I recommend reading  A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul, by Holly Pierlot
• Some good resources to help stay on track:, World Book’s “A Typical Course of Study” - http://worldbook.com/typical-course-of-study?wbredirect=1&Itemid=216, What your Child Needs to Know Series – by E.D. Hirsch
• Prayerfully take it a year at a time

Some useful tips for your home school:

•  Bookend each day with prayer (morning - devotion & scripture, evening – examen and journaling, whatever works best for you)
• Don’t recreate school in your home; you are trying to foster a love of learning.  That was my first mistake and it broke my heart to watch my children’s shoulders fall accompanied by the struggles when trying to “do it all, just like school”…
• Make a specific time for prayer as a family – morning devotion and evening rosary?
• Incorporate service and work into your schedule – Visit elderly, bring food to sick or new moms, etc.  Do household and yard work together and assign chores to each child.  Raymond and Dorothy Moore, considered the 'grandparents of Christian Home Schooling', encourage a balance of study, work, and service.
• Incorporate reading into meals (I read the Gospel, Saint of the Day, Memory verse recitation, and flash cards at the breakfast table, Virtue and Character building at Lunch, and Catechism or Saint stories at 3:00 snack).  I have the children locate the country of each saint on a map on the wall
• Look your children in the eye and give them your full attention when they talk to you
• Get excited about what you are teaching
• Have an interesting book in the bathroom, always
• Have a CD Player in children’s room – Audio books are a great way to maximize education – we have many classics on Audio, Science (Jonathan Park) as well as History (The Story of The World), Faith Formation (Bible stories on CD)
• Bring education to the  car (audio books, Vox Music Masters – lives of great composers, as well as Holy Heroes and Cat Chat)
• Have great books available everywhere in the house
• Read and let your children see you reading.  Tell them about what you are learning
• Set goals for yourself, as well as your children in education
• Read aloud to your children - If you don’t already, start now… read to your children.  Don’t read at their level, read above them by several years.  I paraphrase a quote from Andrew Pudewa: you have to fill them with beautiful things before you can expect beautiful output…  Reading aloud increases there vocabulary, overall comprehension, piques their interest in new things, and inspires a love of reading.

Must-read books/resources to help you get started:

• Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style
  Teaching the Trivium: Christian Homeschooling in a Classical Style, Bluedorn – a GREAT and inspiring book on all-around home schooling
• The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook
  The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook, Dr Raymond and Dorothy Moore – A creative and stress-free approach to homeschooling.
• Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum: A Guide to Catholic Home Education - Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum, Laura M. Berquist – This book has great recommendations, by grade for all coursework.  At a minimum it is a great place to start for book lists (history, literature, poetry, etc) and a good framework.
• Catholic Education: Homeward Bound - Useful Guide to Catholic Home Schooling - Catholic Education:  Homeward Bound -  A useful guide to Catholic Home Schooling, Kimberly Hahn and Mary Hasson – This also has great recommendations. 
• A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the Twenty-First Century - A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the Twenty-First Century, Oliver DeMille – (TJED) I loved this book and it transformed our home school.  We still follow many of the books from Mother of Divine Grace (Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum), but with a more TJED approach.  I recommend all the TJED books and visiting the TJED site.
• A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion - A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion, DeMille, DeMille, & Jeppson – filled with great ideas to carry the TJED methodology forward in your home
• Catholic Home Schooling, Mary Kay Clark - A very Seton-centric approach
• World Book – Typical Course of Study - http://worldbook.com/typical-course-of-study
• What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know: Preparing Your Child for a Lifetime of Learning (Core Knowledge Series) - Core Knowledge Series - What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know: Preparing Your Child for a Lifetime of Learning – there is a book for each grade that covers what is typically taught for, each year of school.  I use this as a general guide for content for each year, each child.
• A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul - A Mother's Rule of Life, Pierlot  - This is not a typical Home Schooling book, rather it helps Mothers to prioritize the home according to the 5 p’s (Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider).  Pierlot recommends prayerfully creating a schedule that will enable you to have a managed home, where all the work is accounted for, correctly distributed, and set within the domestic church. This book transformed my home and home school.
• A House United, Teaching Self Government, Nicholeen Peck – this also is not a typical home schooling book, however, it has helped my husband and me to structure our home, our standards, against a vision and mission.  We want our children to be self-governed and responsible, ready for the world, with strong values and great character.  This book has provided the tools enabling us to do this.  Peck has helped us to write our own vision and mission, our own standards.  She has provided a framework for family meetings, fun nights, couples meetings and mentor session with our children.  We have learned how to work with each child to set goals and give them something to work toward with an open line of communication between parent and child.  A HUGE plus in any home school (and home for that matter).
• A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning
  A Charlotte Mason Companion – GREAT ideas for simple and effective methods of teaching.

 Curricula:

We started with Mother of Divine Grace (MODG) and as our family grew we have continued to follow many facets to MODG (literature, history, Math) and have modified our approach to follow a more Thomas Jefferson Education model http://kristen.soleyfamily.com/HomeSchool/TJED.aspx

     Catholic Curricula 1

• Kolbe Academy Home School - Catholic and classical home school program for grades K-12. Kolbe Academy cooperates in the order of grace to assist those in its charge to know, love, and serve God. http://www.kolbe.org/
• Little Saints Preschool - A Catholic preschool program that includes themes and wonderful reading lists -http://www.catholicpreschool.com/
• Seton Homeschool - classic, scholastic approach to education. Enrollment and special needs counseling is available. Self publishes much of their material. Well established program - http://www.setonhome.org/
• Our Lady of Victory - Since 1977, OLVS has been providing Roman Catholic homeschooling curriculum and textbooks. The curriculum and textbooks used in our homeschooling program are well organized, doctrinally sound and very affordable.- http://www.olvs.org/
• Mother of Divine Grace-  K-12 classical liberal arts curriculum offering limited enrollment and the ability to purchase syllabi without enrollment - http://www.motherofdivinegrace.org/
• St. Thomas Aquinas Academy - K-12 classical liberal arts curriculum – http://www.staa-homeschool.com/
• Angelicum Academy Catholic homeschool and liberal education program based on the liberal arts and the classical great books of Western civilization.
• Art Master’s Enhance Religion Sacred art from the masters brings the artistic legacy of the church into religion classes and enhances any religion program. Program kits are available for K-8 grades and Junior High. The master art works for each grade have been chosen to complement the themes usually covered in religious education for that grade - https://www.comcenter.com/product/ENCO-ARTPK9/Art-Masters-Enhance-Religion-Kit-for-grades-K-8-with-DVD/
• Catholic Heritage Curricula - A company that has developed new lesson plans using many of their self published materials. They are noted for their well-developed, hands on religious programs in the early grades - https://www.chcweb.com/catalog/index.html
• Homeschool Connections Catholic home school curriculum provider. We provide three services to Catholic homeschooling families: 1) Live, interactive, online classes for adults, high school, and middle school students. 2) Subscription service which allows students 24/7 access to all of our past courses. 3) Free webinars for parents - http://homeschoolconnectionsonline.com/?a_aid=mgrunk
• L.P.H. Resource Center On-Line Courses for Catholic Homeschoolers Since the Spring of 1998, the L.P.H. Resource Center has offered classes for Catholic homeschoolers over the World Wide Web - http://lphrc.org/
• Mater Amabilis A free Catholic Charlotte Mason program - http://materamabilis.org/ma/
• Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic homeschool organization which offers complete curriculums for students from grades pre-kindergarten through twelve using a classic scholastic approach. Many of the books used are “traditional” Catholic resources. - http://www.olrs.com/
• Regina Coeli The first all online Catholic homeschooling program for Roman Catholics - http://www.reginacoeli.org/

Other Homeschool curricula

• K12- Online Public Education with a home-based approach.  It is free - http://www.k12.com/
• Robinson Self-Teaching Curriculum - $195 for a k-12 education, all texts are digitally provided on CD for printing purposes-  http://www.robinsoncurriculum.com/
• Accelerated Achievement (A2) - $99.00 for a k-12 education, all texts are digitally provided on CD for printing purposes-   http://www.accelerated-achievement.com/
• Abeka – a k – 12 education option - http://www.abeka.com/
• Saxon – Math – a great k-12 Math resource - http://saxonpublishers.hmhco.com/en/sxnm_home.htm
• Catholic Home School Suppliers: 1
• Rainbow Resource Catalog – Mission is to provide the best educational products to homeschoolers, parents, and educators at the lowest prices we can offer http://www.rainbowresource.com/index.php
• Adoremus Books - Adoremus Books (Latin for “Let Us Adore!”) carries a broad selection of top quality books and resources designed to enrich your Catholic home - http://www.adoremusbooks.com/
• Alan Jemison Music Provider of traditional music for Catholic homeschoolers: piano instruction program, traditional Catholic hymns and liturgical music  - http://aljem.com/
• Ascension Press Publishers of Catholic charts, Friendly Defender cards and more - http://www.ascensionpress.com/
• Bethlehem Books wonderful collection of “living history” books, some reprinted and they are organized by time period - http://www.bethlehembooks.com/
• BraveWriter Catholic owned business that offers online writing courses and a discussion group - http://www.bravewriter.com/
• By Way of the Family has some of the best prices for books - http://www.bywayofthefamily.com/
• Catechetical Resource includes information, forums and purchasing for Image of God and Faith and Life - http://www.catecheticalresources.com/
• Catholic Heritage Curricula includes lessons plans, Year with God, Behold and See and many other self published material - http://www.chcweb.com/
• Chronicles of Xan New books series by Catholic homeschool author - http://www.chroniclesofxan.com/
• Corps of Re-Discovery Catholic owned business with a wonderful collection of hands on crafts and activities, books and more related especially to the Lewis and Clark expedition - http://www.corpsrediscovery.com/
• Courtship Now Catholic fictions for teens that promotes chastity and purity - http://www.courtshipnow.com/
• Donna Corigibson Contemporary Catholic Music that explains the Faith. Word for word sung prayers from scripture and the Saints to make for easy memorization. Also, a sung Musical Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet - http://www.donnacorigibson.com/
• Ecce Homo Press A self publisher of materials including Glory of America series, Little Flower and Blue Knight resources - http://www.eccehomopress.com/
• El Camino Real (The Real Road) Catholic books for feast days, crafts, cross stitch and more - http://www.lcaminoreal.org/
• Emmanuel Books A large, well established Catholic homeschool supplies business featuring Mother of Divine Grace material  - http://www.emmanuelbooks.com/
• Faith Database The Faith Database is a CD?ROM that provides access to over ten Bible translations, a Greek Bible, papal encyclicals, writings of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, the Catholic Encyclopedia, over 1,500 books by famous Christian writers, Church history, Bible art, maps, and much more! The Faith Database is completely searchable, printable, and portable (PDA) ?? everything is linked together for instant research of any faith topic - http://faithdatabase.com/
• Hillside Education Our mission is to publish quality literature study guides with a distinctly Catholic perspective - http://www.hillsideeducation.com/
• History Links World History Unit Studies for Catholic homeschoolers – 8 units from Creation through Early Medieval - http://www.historylinks.info/
• Holy Heroes Offers many multimedia items including educational, fun and free activities: Advent Adventure, Lenten Adventure, and starting July, Summer Faith Adventure - http://www.holyheroes.com/
• Home School T’s Spread the Homeschooling message in a positive way! Business owned by Catholic Homeschoolers - http://www.homeschoolts.com/
• Ignatius Press wide range of Catholic religious books - http://www.ignatius.com/
• Illuminated Ink Illuminated Ink© (formerly known as Art Angels©) is a small Catholic company that is dedicated to developing, designing, and producing high-quality Catholic educational materials for children all over the world - http://www.illuminatedink.com/index.php
• Keller Books A Catholic Homeschool business founded in 1998 and specialize in vintage children and traditional Catholic books - http://www.kellerbooks.com/
• Little Flowers Family Apostolate We are a home-based, family-run apostolate and publisher. We provide unique Catholi tools who are searching for just the right item to teach or learn the Faith, gifts for Sacraments, literature that is good for the mind and soul and solid Catholic materials to pass the Faith on to their children - http://lffa-ollmpc.com/
• Making Music Praying Twice Our company, Making Music Praying Twice, music and movement for the Catholic child, has recently released a homeschool music education curriculum - http://www.makingmusicprayingtwice.com/
• Mary’s Books Is republishing the series Dujarie Press Saints and Famous Catholics Biographies in paperback as well as offering new and used Catholic books - http://www.marys-books.com/
• mater et magistra magazine - Only Catholic homeschool magazine in print. Each issue includes great articles and a unique unit study - http://materetmagistramagazine.org/
• My Catholic Faith Delivered We strive to combine the finest catechetical courses/programs with state-of-the-art, interactive technology, as Pope Benedict has encouraged us to do in his recent World Communications Days addresses. We now offer for this fall the Faith and Life series in an online format. It has everything that the book version has, but so much more to engage the children! We also have three years of the Didache high school series ready as well - http://www.mycatholicfaithdelivered.com/Home.aspx
• Neumann Press Our goal and primary purpose is to republish orthodox, traditional and classic Catholic books that have gone out of print - http://www.neumannpress.com/
• Our Father’s House includes “Sound Beginnings” a Catholic reading, spelling and handwriting program as well as a beautiful miniature mass set - http://ourfathershouse.biz/shopsite_sc/store/html/index.html
• Pro Multis Media Inspiring Presentations for Extraordinary Catholics - http://www.promultismedia.net/
• Quiet Waters Production They produce and sell Little Flowers badges, sashes, music and now the Learn Spanish with Grace! series of products  - http://www.quietwatersproductions.com/
• Resource Connection to History includes a variety of Catholic sources for teaching history including a Catholic world timeline, and Connecting With History a history-based unit study published by RC History - http://www.rchistory.com/
• Roman Catholic Catechism We offer E-Copybooks and Audio Catechism CDs - http://www.roman-catholic-catechism.com/index.html
• Sacred Heart Books and Gifts offers discounts on many books and videos and carries religious and homeschool supplies - http://www.sacredheartbooksandgifts.com/
• Seton Educational Media Seton Educational Media (SEM) is the book sales division of Seton Home Study School, the largest supplier of Catholic home schooling curriculum in the U.S.A - http://www.setonbooks.com/index.php
• St. George Catholic Books In March of this year RC History began a merger with St. George Books and Gifts, a local Catholic bookstore. By joining forces we believe that we can serve our customers more efficiently. All of the materials that have been on the RC History website can be found on the new site as well as hundreds of more items in every subject area - http://stgeorgebooks.com/
• Write Guide Catholic owned company that works with Regina Coeli and St. Thomas Aquinas. Provides individualized writing courses for homeschoolers - http://www.writeguide.com/

Other Resources:

General:

• Rainbow Resource Catalog – Mission is to provide the best educational products to homeschoolers, parents, and educators at the lowest prices we can offer http://www.rainbowresource.com/index.php
• West – WEST began in 2009 and is a 501(C)3 non-profit organization offering tutor-based weekly classes for home-educated students in 5th through 12th grade.  http://www.westclasses.com/
• Kim Jaworski – has great resources and ideas for your home school - http://www.homeschoolresourcesp.com/index.html
• Great alternative media options (Audio Books, DVD’s, iPad/Pod games etc) - http://kristen.soleyfamily.com/HomeSchool/AudioBooksDvd.aspx
• Free curricula from Catholic Heritage:  https://www.chcweb.com/catalog/freecurricula.html

Reading:

• Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
  Teach your child to read in 100 Easy Lessons, Siegfried Engelmann – Each of our children have started with this book, after this we move into Little Angel Readers, the Educators Publishing Service (EPS) Primary Phonic Book Sets, and McGuffy Readers.  If they are struggling we take a step back and work through the Explode the Code books from EPS
• McGuffey's Eclectic Readers/Boxed
  McGuffy Readers – we love these.  The stories are laden in character, virtue, and introduce challenging vocabulary at an earlier age, which has helped with their literature and reading comprehension.  Even if you choose not to home school, these are a must have!
• Abeka Reading
• Explode the Code - Educators Publishing Service (EPS)
• Little Angel Reader Series - http://www.stonetabletpress.com/Shop.html
• The Writing Road to Reading – this was not my favorite but soooooooo many people love it that I felt it must be included.
• Libravox – libravox.org  audio books, free

Handwriting:

• Startwrite – software that allows you to create custom copy work in manuscript, cursive and others with the flexibility to change font size and switch between trace and copy work.  It even includes arrows for beginning manuscript work.  We use this for all copy work (bible memory work, discipline in writing the commandments, literature and poetry copy work selections, O Antiphons, etc.)!
• Seton Workbooks – each of our children has used the Seton workbooks for handwriting.  They are great and have beautiful Catholic artwork in them. http://www.setonhome.org/curriculum/
• CHC – Catholic Heritage Curricula - https://www.chcweb.com/catalog/ByGradeLevel/Kindergarten/CatholicHeritageHandwritingLevelK/product_info.html

Spelling:

• The Writing Road to Reading
• See curriculum for spelling options, there are a ton…

Math:

• Teaching Textbooks – we use this starting in 2nd grade.  Their first level is 3rd grade and if our child does well, we continue one year ahead for the student. There is a lecture and lesson on the computer.   There is a companion workbook that includes the lesson and exact same work problems if the child would like to follow a book.  I typically save the $$ and give the child a tablet for longer, more complex work.
• Saxon – top-notch math, but with as many children as we are home-educating it is not for us.  I do use this for Kindergarten as a guideline on what to teach and pull out worksheets for this age.  I also recommend the manipulatives kit from Saxon starting with Kindergarten.
• Abeka
• Life of Fred – I suspect my boys will really enjoy this.  I intend to introduce this in 6 or 7th grade.  I have heard great things about this series.
• Calculadder – a great resource for worksheets and increasing speed.
• Math-it -  a great resource to help child with speed and accuracy in adding, multiplying and doubling figures, set to a fun board-game type approach.  Each of my children has enjoyed this thus far.
• Alpha Omega Publications
• Aleks – I keep hearing great things about this and am looking into it - http://www.aleks.com/
• Singaporemath.com Inc
• Accelerated Christian Education

Science:

• Abeka
• Apologia Educational Ministries
• Jonathan Park, Adventure Audio Books

Support Groups:

• Holy Family Home School Group – this is the home school I participate in, based in Maple Lake.  There is also a great group out of Watertown. 

Legal Defense Organizations:

• HSLDA- Home School Legal Defense Association is a nonprofit advocacy organization established to defend and advance the constitutional right of parents to direct the education of their children and to protect family freedoms - http://www.hslda.org/
• MÂCHÉ - Minnesota Association of Christian Home Educators! We exist to encourage and support Christ-centered home education.- http://mache.org/

Testing Options:

• Peabody - http://www.homeschoolresourcesp.com/index.html
• Basic Achievement Skills Inventory (BASI) for grades 3–12 3
• Brigance Diagnostic Inventories (Very thorough test; helpful in IEP/SEP/goal setting for special needs children. May be given by parents. Yellow Brigance: birth to developmental age 7; Green Brigance: grade levels Pre-K through 9; HSLDA members may rent from 3 HSLDA
• California Achievement Test (CAT) 3
• Comprehensive Test of Basic Skills (CTBS) 3
• Iowa Test of Basic Skills (ITBS) 3
• Stanford Achievement Test (Stanford-10 or SAT, not to be confused with the College Board SAT).
• PASS test (from Hewitt-standardized but not nationally normed) 3
• Wide Range Achievement Test (WRAT) (Short but accurate; because of brevity, can be helpful for children with attention difficulties) 3
• Woodcock-Johnson (Oral interaction/evaluation in addition to written work; must be administered by qualified tester, usually a psychologist or an education professional) 3

 

Resources:

"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines

what you will be when you can't help it.."  Oscar Wilde

Book Lists:

• Little Saints Preschool - http://www.catholicpreschool.com/
• Catholic Mosaic, Living the Liturgical Year with Literature, An illustrated book study for Catholic Children, Cay Gibson
• Real Learning:  Education in the Heart of the Home, Elizabeth Foss – has a GREAT booklist at the end of this book
• The Educated  Child, William Bennett, a great book list at the end of this book
• Excellence In Writing’s Andrew Pudewa - http://www.excellenceinwriting.com/files/TB-Resources_0.pdf
• Charlotte Mason Booklist by grade - http://charlottemasonhome.com/2007/05/30/literature-by-grade/
• Catholic Summer Reading List - http://www.roman-catholic-catechism.com/high-school-summer-reading-list.html
• TJED – Classics Lists - http://www.tjed.org/resources/classics/
• A Landscape with Dragons – Michael O’Brien – has a great book list at the end of this book
• Laura Berquist – Mother of Divine Grace – http://emmanuelbooks.com/
• See this blog for GREAT book list resources - http://www.jacksbookreviews.blogspot.com/p/book-list-sources-codes.html Jack is my nephew (Annie’s son).

Conferences:

• MN Catholic Home Education Conference & Curriculum Fair – May 31 – June 1, 2013 - http://www.mnconference.org/
• Mache – April 19 & 20th - http://mache.org/

Other:

• Great article supporting Homeschooling - http://www.forbes.com/sites/billflax/2013/01/22/want-to-tell-the-state-to-stick-it-homeschool-your-kids/

In Summary:

Our mission should be to help our children learn the Faith, live the faith and apply the Faith, to be strong in virtue, discipline, and character as well as academically prepared for whatever vocation God calls them.  Nobody is better prepared than a child’s parent, with the grace of God.  As Dr. Ray says “if you want a one in a million child, you need to be a one in a million parent.”

 

One last tip:

I have been asked how do we do it?  How do I remain patient, etc…  My only reasonable response is “I can’t…  I can’t do it without God.”  He has given me the grace to do this.  If you don’t think you can do this, you are right; you can’t.  But with God you can.

“I can do all through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Sources:

1 http://catholichomeschool.org/index.php/catholic-curriculums/

2 The Top Five Misconceptions About Homeschooling, Isabel Shaw - http://school.familyeducation.com/family-learning/home-schooling/30275.html

3 HSLDA - http://www.hslda.org/earlyyears/Testing.asp#Assess

 

I Promise to be True to You...

A Wednesday Fast and Prayer for our Husbands...

A dear friend of mine invited me to join her in a Wednesday fast and prayer for our husbands.  She then mentioned how powerful it could be if we invited other women into a prayer group for our husbands. 

The vocation of husband is a vital vocation with such responsibility; so much rests on our husband's shoulders and God has entrusted our souls under his loving care, to lead us back to Him in an eternal family.

Our children will do what our husbands do.

Our husbands are called to set and sustain a life of virtue in our homes.

Our culture is constantly trying to degrate, undermine, and devalue their role. There is temptation around every corner. Let's lift them up, through grace and love... for love of God, our husbands, and our families.

Let's lift our husbands up in prayer and fasting, every Wednesday. If our husbands grow in holiness, our entire family will grow in holiness. If our family grows in holiness, think of the impact on our neighborhood, our city, state, nation, and world!

As Blessed Mother Teresa said, so perfectly:

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Never worry about numbers.

Help one person at a time,

And always start with the person nearest you."

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Remember that fasting is personal, and looks different for each of us, perhaps it is a fast from coffee, sweets, 1 or 2 meals, etc.

St. Joseph, please pray for our husbands! Lift them up, guide them, inspire them. Draw them closer to our Heavenly Father, that they, in turn, may draw us closer to Him. KMS

Click Here to join
You will receive an email reminder each Wedesday morning.

Each of us plays a distinct role in our marriages.  Our husband is the head of our household, and we are the heart of our home.

“…and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her… So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself”  Ephesians 5:21-33

Our husband is a channel of grace for our entire household.  When we are called to honor and obey our husbands as the head of our home, who are we really obeying?

“Every [a]person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.” 
God is the true head, and he has placed our husbands, here on earth, as His representative for our homes. Romans 13:11
 

Subscribe to this prayer grou by clicking here. 

http://kristen.soleyfamily.com/MothersGroup/IPromiseToBeTrue.aspx

Pilgrim Queen of the Family

Our Homeschool group formed a group of 10 families who welcome The Pilgrim Queen of the Family Shrine, Our Lady of Guadalupe, for three days each month, into our homes.  The fruit of having the Shrine  in our home is that our family is united with other families in the prayer of the Holy Rosary through the Pilgrim Queen of the Family.  It also promotes the devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe.

We will soon be beginning our third year participating in the "traveling shrine" of the Pilgrim Queen.  When we first began to welcome the shrine into our home, we added the family rosary to our night-time prayers.  Our family prayer-time with the shrine in our home has been very powerful for us.  It has lead our family to praying the rosary together daily, which had been a hope and prayer of mine for a long time.  As a result  of Our Lady's prayers, generosity, and grace, our family prayer-life has increased both in meaning and depth. 

The Pilgrim Queen

The purpose of the Pilgrim Queen is to "promote Family praying of the Holy Rosary for the Church, the Pope, the family and vocations to the priesthood and consecrated life."

Methodology

Pilgrim Queen of the Family is an image of Our Lady Guadalupe that monthly visits ten families, staying three days in each home. During her stay, the family prays together the Holy Rosary.

"Family that prays together stays together." (John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae)

This apostolate requires two types of members: Guardian and families affiliated with Pilgrim Queen of the Family.

Guardian
A person who makes the commitment and has the honor of ensuring that Pilgrim Queen of the Family does pilgrimages from home-to-home to promote the prayer of the Holy Rosary. He/she 
invites nine other families (friends, neighbors or relatives) to receive Mary in their home for three days, each month.

Affiliated Family
Family who receive and welcome Our Lady of Guadalupe in their home each month for three days and commit themselves to pray the Holy Rosary together as a family, to pray for vocations, the Pope, the family and the Church. The affiliated family will try to form its own group, so that more and more families are visited by Our Blessed Mother and become united in a single prayer.

Pledge to Mary

As an Affiliated Family with Pilgrim Queen of the Family We commit ourselves to:

1.   Pray the Holy Rosary together as a family
2.   Invite other families to pray the Holy Rosary
3.   Love the Pope and collaborate with the bishop and parish priests
4.   Welcome life
5.   Promote vocations to the priesthood and consecrated life
6.   Give testimony of Christian love: “Look how they love each other”

Our experience with having the Shrine come into our home each month has been very powerful.  We begin to anticipate Her arrival before she is delivered to our home by an affiliated family and always receive her joyfully!  The 3 days always go very quickly, and thus, we are grateful for our time with her.

I encourage families, church, homeschool, and mother's groups to consider inviting The Pilgrim Queen into your homes.  Our family has enjoyed the peace, love, and abundant grace that flow from this time together in prayer.

Click here to learn about becoming an affiliate or guardian family.

The process

Brining the Pilgrim Queen into our home was very straightforward and can be for you as well
1.  Your group will identify a guardian role, or you simply register as a guardian, and invite ten families to join you.
2.  Obtain the shrine here for a small fee per family.
3.  Set a rotation schedule that is most logical based on where the families live.
4. When your group's shrine arrives, your first rotation can commence!

For more information about devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the countless miracles that surround her apparations to St. Juan Diego, click here.

If you arw already participating as an affiliate or guardian, please feel free to share your experience, and how this devotion has changed your family prayer-time.



Baby Mary Frances

The Miracle of Mary Frances…

In early spring of 2012, we learned that God had blessed us, yet again, with His generosity; baby #7; a very biblical number in our Christian faith and I knew this one would be special.  I had no idea the life lessons this little one would bring and the impact she would make.

The first trimester looked very similar to my first trimester for Libby, our only girl thus far.  I was extremely nauseated and thought we might be having a little girl.  After talking with other moms, I learned that nausea is not only for little girl pregnancies and that there really is no way of really knowing untl baby is born.  As usual, my body continued to change (and grow) and I tried to remember to thank God for allowing me to help Him in a miracle, in lieu of complaining as the numbers on the scale continued to get bigger.

This was the first time, in six pregnancies; we agreed that we would not find out gender in the ultrasound.  I had no idea how this simple decision would change a pregnancy.  I always figured “how could pregnancy be improved with a surprise, the whole process is such a miracle, filled with joy”?  I was mistaken.  Even on the day of her birth, I had no idea which we were going to welcome into our life, and I loved it.  It brought even more magic into an already magical time.

Being in my 40’s, there is inherent risk in choosing to have children and as a result, I was lucky enough to have an ultrasound with each of the final appointments, in order to keep track of baby (growth, amniotic fluid levels, heart function, breathing practice, activity level, etc). 

The baby had not shown much growth in the last couple of weeks and when I went in for a checkup and ultrasound on January 2nd (38 weeks and 5 days gestation), the baby’s weight was 6 pounds, amniotic fluid level was low, and I had progressed from 80% effaced, dilated to 1.8 to 90% and 3.  The amniotic fluid levels were not at the critical level (5 or below), but significantly below normal.  Our Doctor, being I was v-bac, did not want to take any risks and said ”let’s have a baby today.”  I was overjoyed… and ready!   This decision saved Mary Frances’ life (and possibly mine too).

They broke my water at noon, and I did not make much progress and thus, pitocin, delivered intravenously, was added to the picture to help increase strength and frequency of contractions.  Then things, as usual, began to pick up.  I was in true labor by 1PM and they were getting stronger and closer together, slowly.  By 5:00, the contractions were substantial and both Nate and I were getting excited.  I figured baby would be here before 6:00 PM. 

Before this pregnancy, I had delivered all of our children, with the exception of 1 cesarean, without the benefits of pain intervention, also called a natural birth.   I know it is painful, but the recovery is fantastic and the labor and delivery, though painful, had traditionally been fast, with few pushes, and zero stitches. 

Just before 6:00PM, the final stage of labor had commenced and I was progressing very quickly.  I had one contraction that was more painful than I had ever felt, ever.  I could not breathe and fainted.  When I woke, both Nate and the nurse were looking at me, concerned.  The look of joyful anticipation had left Nate's face, as it was not easy for them to help me regain consciousness. 

During that painful contraction, the baby’s vitals dropped off and when I regained consciousness, the contractions were different than I had ever experienced.  As it turns out, my placenta (baby’s source for life through food and oxygen) had detached from my uterus…  thus severing baby’s source for life (a placental abruption). The pain was in a different location than in past labor, the contractions were more acute, and the pain was constant. 

In the meantime, they could not attach a monitor to baby’s head and were unable to find my cervix to ascertain the progress of my labor.  Three different members of the staff attempted to attach the monitor and assess progress, to no avail.  The pain was so acute, such that, though I was present, physically, I was also quite absent…  I called out the Holy Name of Jesus a couple of times, asked them to deliver cesarean, and mentioned that I was in a lot of pain.  

I could feel, externally with my hands, that the baby had shifted such that he/she no longer protruded out from my belly, but seemed to actually be resting low, within my organs, hard to explain, but the baby did not stick “out” any more.

When they were unable to find my cervix and monitor baby, the doctor called an emergency cesarean section (c-section).  From the time they chose to proceed with a c-section, until the time our baby was born, 2 ½ minutes had elapsed.  Nate watched, in disbelief, unable to join me in the OR, as the capable surgical, nurse, OB, NICU,  and anesthesia teams assembled.   He later lauded the entire staff for the herculean effort.

When our baby was born, her vitals were at 60 (130 – 180 is normal), she was blue, and unresponsive.  The nurses gave her oxygen and, by the grace of God, regained her color and she reanimated… a miracle, on top of miracles.

When I regained consciousness in the OR, the first thing I asked was how Nate was doing, then baby.  Nate was with our baby and it was then that I learned God gave us a baby girl, and she was doing just fine.  Joy Joy Joy.

The goal of this post is to remind us all to be grateful for each gift God gives us and to take nothing for granted.  Little Mary Frances helped us all to take a step back and just be grateful that day, and those that followed.

My friend, and nurse that assisted in the "stat" nature of my labor/delivery, Jodi, just cared.  She knew how worried Nate was and went out of her way to ensure he was doing okay, as did the other 2 nurses; everybody throughout the entire process gave 100% of themselves, for the lives of others.  Thus, we are abundantly grateful... to God, to each other, and to the staff that allowed God to work through them to bring our baby safely into this world and care for me as well.

We firmly believe that God guided the decisions and hands throughout the day on January 2nd.  What if Dr. Cooley had sent me home?  What if I labored at home and endured a placental abruption 20 minutes from the hospital?   What if Dr. Cooley had not directed for c-section when she did? What if, what if, what if?   The outcome would have been altogether different.  The right information was given from above, and the right people were in place to act.  God is so good!

Thank you God, thank you Ridgeview Medical Center, Waconia OB, nursing, anesthesia, the NICU (Newborn Infant Care Unit) staff, and surgical staff; Dr. Cooley, Jodi Zellman, Charge Nurse Shelby, Karen Paul, Pat Wanchena, and Jon, the student Doctor who shadowed Cooley for the day, and the rest of the Ridgeview team.   Though I always admired and respected the gifts you give to the world, through your vocations, we have experienced, first-hand, your true life-saving contributions and love.

We are also firm believers in prayer.  When I spoke with a nurse who helped deliver Mary Frances, she said "Your husband was very calm, as though he was in prayer or contemplation."  He had been praying, along with many of our home school, Mother's Group, Church, family and friends, as well as many of our Facebook friends.  Your prayers stormed heaven, and heaven, with infinite love and faithfulness, answered you.  Thank you!

Nathan & Kristen Soley
Andrew, William, Libby, Charlie, Thomas, Patrick, and of course Baby Mary Frances

A Quiver Full of Love

Psalm 127:3-5

"[Children] are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

My beautiful sister Annie Ballalatak, and her amazing husband have been blessed with a quiver full of love; 8 beautiful and healthy children ranging from 2 up to 16 years old.  They have endured loss and have some children in heaven as well.

Annie is a great writer, with wit as well as depth.  She shared her Christmas Poem with me this year and it made me both laugh, and cry. 

Annie agreed to share part of her poem in celebration of life.  Here goes:

"In light of my sister, Kristen’s, joyful news of her seventh healthy baby being born this week, I received some pressure from my peeps to share an excerpt from my 2012 Christmas Poem (that was never sent because I ran out of time and it never got out of ‘draft’ mode!).
 
It dawned on me one night when I was putting Jesse (our youngest, 2-yr old) to bed that he gets at minimum nine ‘night-night kisses’ every night before going to bed and how some people might think that the youngest of eight children gets the shaft when it comes to the love and attention department.

This along with a chat I had with my mom over the holidays where she was telling me how much grief she gets and how she so often has to defend her daughters’ large families to friends and family prompted me to add this last section to my poem.   The context of this usually very silly poem is a conversation between Tom (my husband) and me as we grab a glass of wine (Tom-a beer), sit on the couch and reminisce over the last year and review each of our children and life’s happenings.  Only the intro and closing sections are posted. 


Sunday, December 09, 2012
T’was the night of the blizzard
     and all through the house
was a roar of eight children
      and even my spouse

….
Now what’s on everyone’s mind dear, we mustn’t delay
“You’ve got eight kids, are there more on the way!?

Have you no control, dear man, don’t you know how ‘it works’?
Don’t you know they make meds so you can still have the ‘perks’?”

Should I tell them, honey, we don’t know and request advice?
Or should I admit that we do and are lucky to have so much ‘spice’?

For those who say ‘better you than me’, should I tell them our kids concur
For if it were them, most of the kids would not be here.

For those who can’t imagine there to be enough love to cover every babe
Should I tell them how many kisses Jesse gets before he hits the shade?

For those worried that you can never make enough money
Should I tell them how God has worked it out, should I tell them, honey?

How although we may not have every nicety out there, theirs is a misconception
Every need of ours has been met, without a single exception.

I suppose I could mention how lucky they all are to have our eight children pay
their future Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security one day.

And then I could tell them the theology behind it, why God’ plan is such a way
With a quiver full, comes peach & joy – life’s beautiful bouquet.

Lastly should I try to draw a picture for them – later when we are old
All the love and sacrifice we gave our children being repaid a hundred-fold?

Na, It’ll suffice to just tell them we feel lucky to be blessed eight times over
And they shant worry, we won’t be inviting ourselves over.

T’was still the night of the blizzard
    but the roar was now gone
        Nine sleepers last count
              all but the mom

Christmas music off
lights off the fire hazard (tree)
 – now out of sight
Happy Christmas to all
and to all a good night!

Blessings,
The Ballalatak Family"