Get Happy! The Beatitudes of Life for the Vocation of Wife and Mother - Part V

Kristen M. Soley

The Fifth Beatitude - Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy

Mercy is a virtue “influencing one's will to have compassion for, and, if possible, to alleviate another's misfortune.” 9

 Living a life, filled with mercy and love, St. Martin de Porres enjoyed true beatitude. Famous for his love of the poor, he ministered to and comforted the dying and would bury the dead with his own hands. He begged the money for an orphanage to house the orphans of Lima, Peru. He begged and distributed $2,000.00 per week to the needy. With God’s grace, he healed the sick. He even tried to “rescue rats and mice and would transport them to open areas in the country where they would not become spreaders of disease or the hunted prey of me.”2 

St. Faustina teaches, there are “three ways of performing an act of mercy: the merciful word, by forgiving and by comforting; secondly, if you can offer no word, then pray - that too is mercy; and thirdly, deeds of mercy. And when the Last Day comes, we shall be judged from this, and on this basis we shall receive the eternal verdict. 

Applying this beatitude to the vocation of wife and mother, we can rely on the words of Blessed Mother Teresa, “Help on person at a time and start with the person nearest you.” Typically this is our husband, then our children.

To understand Mercy in our vocation, it is useful to study the corporal (body) and spiritual works of mercy. 

The Corporal Works of Mercy

· Feed the hungry – Make good, healthy meals for our families, and pack a well-balanced lunch for them, including our husbands, home-prepared meals are typically more healthy and easier on the budget. Remember at each meal eaten together, always praise and thank God for His generosity and ask Him to bless the food. Make a meal for a sick friend, relative or a new mom.  

· Give drink to the thirsty – Our children’s body weight is between forty-five to seventy-five percent water and adults are around seventy-five percent. It is imperative we remain hydrated for good health and proper body function. Ensure we are well hydrated and there is quality water readily available for everybody.

1. Another beautiful view on thirst is taking Jesus’ words from the Cross, “I thirst.” Jesus was not asking for a sip of water, He was asking for souls. He thirsted for souls. We too should thirst for souls to come to Christ. With God’s grace, our example of living out our vocation with joy, both at home and in the public eye, can draw souls to Him, through us. The abundant joy that we have in our hearts, Jesus in us, will draw souls to Him. If we are happy when we are out, patiently enduring our little trials, then being our vocation looks appealing and will draw souls to Him. However, if we are disheveled, short, and impatient with our children, then our vocation looks more like a cross. Sometimes, we must put joy on, if we do not feel it authentically. Again, Jesus is peace and joy (beatitude) and allowing His peace and joy to shine through us, will draw souls to Him, satiating His thirst. 

· Clothe the naked – Ensure that our families have clothes that are comfortable and fit well, have warm enough clothes in the winter and modest but cool enough clothes in the summer. Make sure they have good shoes for their activities, so as to prevent injury. If you have more than you need, or they have been outgrown, share them with another for hand-me-downs or donate to charity. Donate quality clothes; nothing immodest, with holes or overly worn out. Each of us desires to dress with dignity. 

· Visit and ransom the captives – As a family, pray for those who are separated from Christ through sin or suffering from addiction; they are suffering greatly, feeling powerless; this is a form of slavery. Pray for those being held captive for religious belief, as we now are seeing in the Middle East. If we can, visit those in prison, or as a family, adopt an inmate; our families can become his/her pen pal. If this is not reasonable given our season in life, simply pray for them. 

· Shelter the homeless – If we have an aging parent, open our homes to them, rather than placing them in a retirement home. The gift we will give our family through this time is invaluable. 

1. We are called to be hospitable. As Our Blessed Mother told St. Catharine Drexel, “Freely we have been given, freely give.” Open our homes to family and friends. Share Jesus with them through the gifts God has given us and find Jesus in them. This enables us to live out the gospel truth that Blessed Mother Teresa taught, the Gospel in Five fingers, “You did it to Me.” (based on Matthew 25:40)

· Visit the sick – If we have a sick parent or friend, visit them or pick them up and bring them to dinner in our homes; if they cannot get to Mass, offer to give them a ride. Prepare a meal for them or deliver flowers. As a family, pray for their healing. 

· Bury the dead – Given the Mass is the most powerful prayer we can pray, it is vital that we attend the funerals of those we know and love. It is also important to have Masses offered for our deceased loved ones. Bringing our families to the graveyard to pray for and visit our loved ones leaves lasting memories and traditions in our little ones. If you are unable to stop by the grave yard, pray for the souls at each grave yard you drive by. Simply pray, “Jesus and Mary, I love you! Save souls!” This is a simple act of love and charity, interceding for souls not yet enjoying eternal beatitude. 
 

The Spiritual Works of Mercy

· Admonish sinners – As a family, work together to grow in virtue by overcoming faults. Lovingly correct our children and spouse when we see a character flaw, and point them toward the virtue that opposes the flaw. Remember to do this in a private and loving 8manner, as much as possible. 

· Instruct the ignorant – Teach our family the faith! God created us to know, love and serve Him, that we may be happy with Him in Heaven. Our family needs to know Him in order to love and serve Him. One of the best ways of teaching the faith, is knowing it and living it ourselves. Our children are going to parrot our behavior, best they parrot good behavior.  

· Counsel the doubtful – Be a source of encouragement for our families. Remind them that God’s plan is better, even when we don’t understand it. 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NASB)

· Comfort the sorrowful – Visit a friend who has lost a loved one. Work together as a family to make a gift to lighten their heart or deliver a bouquet. After the funeral is over, the reality of life without their loved one will settle in, after everybody has gone home. If possible, drop by on major holidays to deliver a simple treat or card. Be a light for this person through prayer, fellowship, and charity; especially the first year.

· Bear wrongs patiently – Assuming that somebody is well intended, even when this behavior seems contrary; this will enable us to bear wrongs with patience. It is common for each of us to have our actions result in an outcome that was not intended. Remember this in others; for very seldom, if ever does our spouse, family or friend intend to hurt us. By striking back, we create two unhappy people, not just one. As we talked about in the second Beatitude, Blessed are the meek, “Be silent when your speech will make another unhappy. Remember, all men search for happiness, or beatitude.” 2

· Forgive all injuries – To be forgiven, we must forgive, as we are taught by Jesus, in the Our Father, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We are also taught in scripture the number of time we are to forgive, "…I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22 NASB) When we do not forgive those who have hurt us, the only person suffering is us. Holding on to these feelings creates a block, preventing the flow of grace that God so desperately wants to shower upon us. 

· Pray for the living and the dead - Create a family prayer book, listing all those God has place on our paths needing prayer. Hold them in prayer daily. Each day, pray the rosary as a family, we can offer each decade for a different intention. Pray for our family. On our way to Mass, remember to ask our children for whom they will offer this Mass. When we are doing chores around the house, ask each of the children for whom or for what intention they wish to offer this work. 

In both the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, remember to pray, think, and then speak, to be sure our words are loving and guided by the Holy Spirit.

In Summary, mercy is a virtue “influencing one's will to have compassion for, and, if possible, to alleviate another's misfortune.” 9  Let us then, in both our home and our surroundings, with God's grace and compassion, try to alleviate other's misfortune and spread His love, wherever He guides us. 

Sources –
1. Newadvent.org
2. Eight Happy People, Reverend John J. Ahern
3. Etymonline.com
4. http://www.americancatholic.org/messenger/oct2000/feature1.asp#F1
5. http://www.copiosa.org/virtue/virtue_meekness.htm
6. Happy are you Poor, Dubay
7. Volume 6, Direction for Our Times – Anne the Lay Apostle
8. Courageous Virtue, Stacy Mitch (A Bible Study on Moral Excellence For Women)
9. Catholic.org
10. http://stperpetuaparish.org/perpetua.php
11. The Twenty-Four Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ – Luisa Piccaretta
12. Michele Szekely - http://www.leblogdelabergerie.com/articles/Catherines.htm  

Get Happy! The Beatitudes of Life for the Vocation of Wife and Mother - Part IV

 

Kristen M. Soley

 

The Fourth Beatitude - Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.

The Catechism defines justice as: 

…The moral virtue that consists in the constant and firm will to give their due to God and neighbor. Justice toward God is called the "virtue of religion." Justice toward men disposes one to respect the rights of each and to establish in human relationships the harmony that promotes equity with regard to persons and to the common good.

The just man, often mentioned in the Sacred Scriptures, is distinguished by habitual right thinking and the uprightness of his conduct toward his neighbor. "You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor." "Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.(CCC1807)

Unpacking this a bit, Stacy Mitch, in the bible Study, Courageous Virtue, explains:

Practicing the virtue of justice means habitually giving to another person what is due. A just person, for example, returns borrowed items, pays their bills in full, obeys God, and is polite and respectful to other people. These are the ordinary duties of all respectable people.

As Christians, the virtue of justice, elevated by God’s grace, enables us to go beyond the minimal call of duty and actually enter into the heroic practice of this virtue. As Christians, we practice the virtue of justice by acting toward others and God as He does. 8

Again, St. Thomas More is a great saint who did hunger and thirst for justice. Thomas wrote the book Utopia, which “expresses the means to happiness in this life.” 2 As we discussed earlier, St. Thomas worked under King Henry the VIII as his chancellor. The King was married to Catherine of Aragon and she was barren. Catherine had been betrothed to King Henry’s older brother Arthur when she and Arthur were infants, but he died as a boy. Now King Henry demanded that the marriage was invalid and was “free to marry again.” 2

 The Pope did not consider the marriage of Henry and Catherine invalid and would not honor an annulment, Henry was then excommunicated. His divorce being final, Henry married Anne Boleyn hoping to receive an heir to his throne. Henry began the Church of England (Anglican). Soon the King demanded that “all his state officers pledge loyalty to him as head of the new Church of England… Henry let it be known that all who were disloyal would lose position, monies, property, and their lives if necessary.”    

For not accepting Henry’s claims, Thomas was charged with treason and was hanged on June 15, 1535; “For he had found happiness on earth through the law of God, and for this law he would hunger and thirst, even unto death.”

In our vocation, we are called to be just no less than in any other vocation. Living out justice in our homes is accomplished by working with our spouse to identify and communicate standards that reflect God’s laws and commands. We are called to communicate and employ fair rules, and enforce them, even when it is inconvenient. We are called to defend truth and teach our children the faith and lead by example that our little ones may follow close behind. 

Not only can we teach our children justice by our own lives, we can read to them the lives of saints and make sure they have this sort of reading available to them. Justice can also be taught by what they don’t see and hear. Try to avoid media that does not teach and defend God’s truth. 

Only in God and the observance of God’s law can a man find his personal fulfillment, his happiness.

Here is a good starting point for your family's House Rules.



Sources –
1. Newadvent.org
2. Eight Happy People, Reverend John J. Ahern
3. Etymonline.com
4. http://www.americancatholic.org/messenger/oct2000/feature1.asp#F1
5. http://www.copiosa.org/virtue/virtue_meekness.htm
6. Happy are you Poor, Dubay
7. Volume 6, Direction for Our Times – Anne the Lay Apostle
8. Courageous Virtue, Stacy Mitch (A Bible Study on Moral Excellence For Women)
9. Catholic.org
10. http://stperpetuaparish.org/perpetua.php
11. The Twenty-Four Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ – Luisa Piccaretta
12. Michele Szekely - http://www.leblogdelabergerie.com/articles/Catherines.htm  

 

Get Happy! The Beatitudes of Life for the Vocation of Wife and Mother - Part III

Kristen M. Soley

The Third Beatitude - Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Merriam-Webster defines ‘mourn’ as, “To feel or express grief or sorrow.” The motive for mourning in this Beatitude is “not to be drawn from the miseries of a life of poverty, abjection, and subjection, which are the very blessings…, but rather from those miseries from which the pious man is suffering in himself and in others, and most of all the tremendous might of  evil throughout the world.” 1

Reverend Ahern teaches that mourning can best be illustrated through the life of St. Margaret Mary. “She was to seek a special happiness in convent life through mourning for sins and outrages committed against the Sacred Heart of Jesus and person by so many ungrateful men.”2 

Margaret Mary “found happiness through mourning for the sins of others.”2 And like Margaret Mary, a mourning soul is a victim soul who continue Jesus’ life upon earth, choosing to receive the flames of His heart for the sake of His most precious blood. Asking for sanctity of souls, these souls desire to be nailed, with Jesus, to the Cross, for suffering and reparation. These souls desire to soothe the pain which the creatures give Jesus with their sins; to console Jesus and draw souls to Him, to repair for their sins. 

To mourn, in the vocation of wife and mother, is to desire to repair for our sins and those of our brothers and sisters in Christ. First it is important to realize why a soul would choose to mourn in this way.

There is such grace that flows into a soul who is open to receive it, who, for love of God, works avoid offending Him through sin. The peace and joy of surrender into His loving arms brings such delight to a soul and when a soul lives in this privileged state, it desires nothing more than for all souls to share in this paradise. To see other souls, that also offend God or don’t know Him, causes mourning; mourning for the soul that is not at peace, separated from Him. This is true pain, indeed. For each soul desires this peace and joy without the full understanding of how to realize it. For offenses we commit against Jesus, we willingly take on the suffering of Jesus, that we and other souls may be drawn closer to Him. We do this to repair for sins and offenses against Him. In order for us to enjoy this type of relationship with Jesus, we need only ask forgiveness from Jesus, ask Him to help us love Him more, and obey His Will for us in our lives.

As a wife and mother, we have much opportunity for suffering, and we need not look far to find it. We can unite the suffering we endure with Christ Crucified in our own home, be it a round of the flu, poor decisions made by our children, financial stress, etc. Through these opportunities, we can choose to accept this suffering for the misgivings of ourselves and our brothers and sisters, to join it with Jesus’ sacrifice at the Holy Mass. Carolyn King calls this the “great exchange.”

Luisa Piccaretta, in The Twenty-Four Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ illustrates this beautifully in conversation with Jesus:

I will give you the drops of my blood to atone and make up the honor and regard that your enemies deny you with their insults and offenses… When I suffer sorrows, pains and bitternesses, then pour out Your justice upon me, O Jesus, and take the satisfaction You want. But may the sinner be saved. O Jesus; may my pains be the bond which binds You and the sinner; and may my soul receive the consolation of seeing your Justice satisfied.” 11


“My beloved Good, You suffer greatly for the loss of souls, and for compassion, I place my being at your disposal. I will take your pains and the pains of the sinners upon yourself, leaving You relieved, and the sinner clinging to you. 11

Jesus made satisfaction for our sins on the cross, He suffered that we may be saved. We can cooperate with Him, for the love of souls. The saints understood this, and when we choose to mourn in this way, we can be like St. Margaret Mary who was “never unhappy, for she saw no contradiction between pain or suffering and happiness.”

Let us understand that God is a physician, and that suffering is a medicine for salvation, not a punishment for damnation. - St. Augustine

 

Sources –

1.      Newadvent.org

2.      Eight Happy People, Reverend John J. Ahern

3.      Etymonline.com

4.      http://www.americancatholic.org/messenger/oct2000/feature1.asp#F1

5.      http://www.copiosa.org/virtue/virtue_meekness.htm

6.      Happy are you Poor, Dubay

7.      Volume 6, Direction for Our Times – Anne the Lay Apostle

8.      Courageous Virtue, Stacy Mitch (A Bible Study on Moral Excellence For Women)

9.      Catholic.org

10.   http://stperpetuaparish.org/perpetua.php

11.   The Twenty-Four Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ – Luisa Piccaretta

12.   Michele Szekely  - http://www.leblogdelabergerie.com/articles/Catherines.htm

 

Get Happy - The Beatitudes of Life for the Vocation of Wife and Mother - Part II

By Kristen M. Soley

The Second Beatitude - Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land. (Verse 4)

Merriam-Webster defines meek as, “enduring injury with patience and without resentment.”  In the Bible, it translates Latin mansuetus or "submissive". ¹

Again, Reverend Ahern, in the book Eight Happy Men, clarifies the meaning of meekness:

The gift of the Holy Ghost called piety is a quality of happiness enabling a man to control his love of himself. Christ’s whole plan for man’s happiness is for man to change the direction of his most Godlike quality, love, from self to love of God through love and service of his neighbor.


Meekness and humility, though related, must not be confused. Humility is one’s attitude under duress toward one’s neighbor. Meekness is the safety catch on the trigger of self-conceit or self-opinion. In a word, in life’s situations humility watches over one’s attitude toward his neighbor; meekness takes care of self. Meekness, then, is gentle, not provoked, indulgent of others, but always watchful over self-opinion. Then, no matter what is said, done, or thought by others, meekness controls the personal reaction, anger, etc., and arouses the power of the soul only when a principle of God is attacked. 2

St. Thomas teaches, “Meekness then moderates the passion of anger according to the dictates of reason, and calms the desire for revenge. It restrains one from wanting to Inflict Injury for Injury. It enables one, relying on the Father's Will, to remain Tranquil in the face of Wrongs done him/her.” Saint Paul stressed the need of this Virtue in his Letter to the Thessalonians: "See that none of you repays Evil for Evil, but always seeks to do Good to one another and to all" (1Thessalonians 5:15).” ⁵

Living out meekness, St. Catherine Laboure was a young and devout nun.  She was humble, gentle, and devout.  She was granted beautiful visions from our Blessed Mother in which Our Lady asked  St. Catherine “to make a medal to promote devotions to the heart of Jesus and his mother.“ ¹² After time had passed, the medal was created and distributed.  From the medal, many miracles of faith and healing occurred. “Within a few years, the miraculous medal had spread all over the country and it is still being used as an object of devotion and obedience in the faith all over the world to this very day! Saint Catherine led a quiet and humble life of prayers as a Daughter of Charity, caring for the aged and the infirm, and she died at 70 years old in her convent, with no public recognition for herself. Many in the convent did not even know it was Catherine to whom the medal had been revealed.  But even from the silent walls of the Rue du Bac Convent, she had managed to spread the love of Christ around her.” ¹² 

To be meek, in the vocation of wife and mother, is then temper our love of self, for the betterment of our neighbor, most often our husband and children.  Being meek enough to take loving reproof, even outright criticism without the response of anger or retaliation, rather with humble acceptance.  “Be silent when your speech will make another unhappy.  Remember, all men search for happiness, or beatitude.”  2 The only time we are to act counter to this is if a principle of God is attacked. 

“Be tolerant, for you are a magnet attracting those around you.  Act with no hypocrisy or artificiality; mingle the love of your souls with the lives of others.  This is controlled love of self’; this is the happiness found in meekness.” ²

 

Sources –

1.      Newadvent.org

2.      Eight Happy People, Reverend John J. Ahern

3.      Etymonline.com

4.      http://www.americancatholic.org/messenger/oct2000/feature1.asp#F1

5.      http://www.copiosa.org/virtue/virtue_meekness.htm

6.      Happy are you Poor, Dubay

7.      Volume 6, Direction for Our Times – Anne the Lay Apostle

8.      Courageous Virtue, Stacy Mitch (A Bible Study on Moral Excellence For Women)

9.      Catholic.org

10.   http://stperpetuaparish.org/perpetua.php

11.   The Twenty-Four Hours of the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ – Luisa Piccaretta

12.   Michele Szekely  - http://www.leblogdelabergerie.com/articles/Catherines.htm